Filters of our reality: The Doomers
self-limiting beliefs and filters
Sometimes our mind plays tricks on us and tries to convince us of things that aren’t really true. These distorted perceptions usually reinforce our negative emotions and thinking patterns. We use them to justify our ideas, but all they actually end up doing is making us feel bad about ourselves. Negative thoughts take up a lot of energy. I’ve said it before, what we focus on expands…
As an advanced master NLP practitioner, these types of thoughts fall under limiting beliefs. These are the beliefs which have disconnected from our core on some level, making us feel stuck and leading us to behaviour and a reactivity that doesn’t feel congruent. Within the world of psychology, these are called cognitive distortions, and have been studied, and popularized.
In the coming 3 weeks, I will provide a quick summary of a few key themes, which I’ve divided into 4 groups: Doomers, Monotinites, Persuasionists, and Victims. This will give you a general idea of some of the hindering filtering patterns that happen unconsciously in your brain. The good news is that with practice, and coaching, you can learn to become aware of them and respond to them in a more resourceful way!
Here are a few of the Doomer’s distorted filters we have… the ones who always see the flipside of EVERYTHING.
Do you recognise any of them? or have you been made aware of this behaviour by someone else? Don’t forget to write down your findings in your notebook!
Filtering for negativity
You’ve trained yourself to place your focus on negative details; emotions; actions; behaviours. Building up a destructive filter pattern, which almost deletes out the positive details of a situation. It can create distorted and darkened ways of thinking, as someone might pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it.
You can also have a similar filter to predict negativity in the future too – assisting in a form of fortune telling.
Example: “No matter what I do, everything always turns to shit”; “It rained all day and I got soaked riding my bike, completely ruining my day”; “My team is going to hate it”
You know better
You discard any proof that goes against your negative thought patterns. Once you hold a negative belief, it is difficult to achieve another perspective, as it is set in stone. If you believe that you are not beautiful, then no matter what evidence you have from others that you are beautiful, you will completely reject it. You will always have arguments as to what makes your belief correct.
Example: “You don’t know the real me”; “Beautiful!? Compared to these other women, I’m happy anyone even noticed me”
You live in a world of what ifs, where you endlessly ask what if and fail to be satisfied with your answers. You have an overactive imagination, thinking up endless possibilities of things that could go wrong – with the emphasis on could.
Example: “What if I get overwhelmed?”; “What if they hate it?
You expect disaster to strike, at any moment, no matter what. You believe that things are far worse than they actually are.
Example: “The economy is crashing, I will lose my job”; “My life would be over if he left me right now”
Have fun on your exploration, it can be a little confronting, but awareness is the first step to freedom. Don’t forget to share your insights and experiences with me here: @itsladylicious.
© Juel McNeilly
Featured Blog photograph: Barbara Galvacs
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