self-limiting beliefs and filters: part 3
Since last week I’ve been providing a quick summary of a few key themes, which I’ve divided into 4 groups: Doomers, Monotinites, Persuasionists, and Victims. This will give you a general idea of some of the hindering filtering patterns that happen unconsciously in your brain. Self-awareness is the first step, and then with practice, and perhaps coaching, you can learn to respond to them in a more resourceful way!
Here are a few of the Persuasionists distorted filters we have… The ones who need to convince themselves or others.
Do you recognise any of them? or have you been made aware of this behaviour by someone else? Don’t forget to write down your findings in your notebook!
You have strict set rules about how you and others should behave. You have an emotional response when you or others break your rules – either guilt when you feel it’s your fault; frustration, resentment or anger when it’s someone else.
Example: “I shouldn’t be so lazy”; “I should eat healthy”; “He’s such a cheapskate, he wanted to split the bill”
You go to all lengths, constantly trying to prove that your opinions and actions are right. Being wrong is almost unimaginable, you’ve thought things through. No matter how long it takes to convince the other(s), and regardless of how it affects them – you will continue to try.
Example: “But if you look at it this way, then you’ll see that I’m right”
You feel that if you explain something in the right way, or if you keep adding pressure, that someone will see that they need to change and take action. Your hopes for peace of mind depend entirely on others, so it is actually up to you to change.
Example: “If I keep reminding him he’s doing it wrong, it’ll sink in, and he’ll stop”
Have fun on your exploration, it can be a little confronting, but awareness is the first step to freedom. Don’t forget to share your insights and experiences with me here: @itsladylicious.
© Juel McNeilly
Featured Blog photograph: if anyone knows who the photographer is, please let me know so I can credit them. Merci.
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