Get it Out! Healing Anger aftercare – 10 practices to manage the flow of emotions at home
Undigested emotions, just like with anything we put into our bodies, accumulates and creates toxicity inside of us. This workshop and course provided you with tools to add to your regular emotional management and self-awareness. Here are 10 self-care steps you can add into your toolkit to deal with releasing this emotional energy build up within, and grounding into your inner wisdom.
Own it: Take responsibility for what you feel. Your emotional world is yours alone. No one else is responsible for it. When you notice yourself reaction emotionally to others, it’s usually because they’re reflecting some part of your own nature that you have not yet acknowledged or recognised. They are a mirror of you. Once you start taking responsibility for your emotional world, the conditioned reflexes which make you vulnerable to the emotions, opinions, ideas of others start to decrease. You claim your power back.
Tuning into your body sensations: Remember it also starts with listening to the daily signals the body sends you. Paying attention to the sensations (pressure, tightness, warmth, cold, spaciousness…) that arise throughout your communications and decisions. For ex. Take pauses to connect to yourself before committing yourself to anything. Before asking or answering questions. Notice the big YES inside when you do want something, and realise that anything that is not a big YES, is a NO. That includes all maybes, doubts, unsure moments. How can you take responsibility for yourself in this moment without creating a story or rationalising it.
Body Scan – sensations: when you start feeling overwhelmed, start tracking your sensations in your body. Choose a moments that work for you throughout the day. At least do this twice a day. It shouldn’t take long. Do this without interpretation – describe them. For example: cold, hot, expanding / space, pressure, pain, tingling, i feel “x- part of body”, I don’t feel “x- part of body”. Write it down. After you do the body scan, write down any resistance, insights, observations, emotions that arise, thoughts patterns – that arose while doing this exercise.
Journal: Write about your feelings, without editing or having to make sense. Feeling are not rational. Allow yourself to express everything you need to about whatever person, situation, or event triggered this emotion within you.
Grounding: You can massage, or put gentle pressure on the perineum to ground yourself. It is the group of muscle fibres between the anus and vaginal opening. This is not a sensual exercise but a grounding one. This point is connected to the root chakra – feeling safe being you authentically in this body, within this society. Whatever that means in the moment. There is often a lot of tension held here that comes from the lack of feeling safe within yourself, fear and emotional build up.Touching and massaging supports relaxation, grounding, and reconnecting with your physical being.
Breath: Touch your lower belly and start breathing towards your hands. Slow and deep breath. Relax the jaw, pelvic floor, thighs, relax the eyes.
Body Work: Everyday, create a short ‘ritual’ to touch every part of your body, it doesn’t have to take long, and it can be as systematic in approach as you wish, or it may change daily. The approach doesn’t matter, just that you have a daily kinesthetic registration of your literal physical boundaries. It can be in the shower to make it easier, or putting on body lotion – find a way that works for you. This is a ritual to be done alone, not with a partner.
Self- Exploration in desires and needs: Ask yourself the following questions, be as specific and clear as possible:
What triggered my emotion?
What emotion am I experiencing? Identify the emotion as clearly and specific as possible, define the emotion you’re experiencing without victimizing yourself. State it to yourself – “I feel ……..”
What do I need right now that I’m not receiving?
What am I getting out of not having my needs met?
What am I truly asking for? Ask yourself if you are being clear about your desires.
Dance it out: dance out your emotions. Try one song a day as a practice to move and release energy and emotion in the body. Allow yourself to be free in the body. I’ve included a short little video I made of moving emotions through dance below.
Share your truth: once you feel centered and have diffused the emotional energy inside of your body. Share your truth and emotions with any persons involved, owning them fully without blaming, or projection. Speak from the “I” space.
Love & Light,
© Juel McNeilly